Three Months

 Jenny is three months old today.

She is one-fourth of a year old.

How did that happen!?

Time is going so fast and she grows every day!

I swear, every morning I look at her she looks bigger than the day before. 

At two months she weighed 12.10 pounds and was 22 inches long.

I'm thinking she is now around 14 pounds and 23 inches long.

Double her birth weight, little chunk.

Girl loves to eat.

She got that from her daddy.

She is still wearing 0-3 month clothes, but i've had to put quite a few things away. 

Every time she grows out of something it makes me so sad.

She will never be this little ever again!

She sleeps a full 8-10 hours every single night.

Hopefully I don't jinx that.

She is seriously the best little sleeper.

Except for nap time.

She is the queen of cat naps.

She'll fall asleep during the day and i'll put her down, thinking I have time to do the dishes or the laundry, and 5 minutes later she's up and ready to play.

She's the silliest little thing.

She caught her first flu bug this month.

It went around the whole family before ending with her.

It was the saddest day, all I could do was snuggle her and kiss her baby cheeks.

Speaking of baby cheeks, she has the BEST kissing cheeks EVER.

They're so chubby and squishy.

I could seriously kiss them all day.

She found her fingers and literally sucks them off her hand. 

She won't take a paci, which kills me sometimes, but she will sure suck those fingers.

She can almost  roll from tummy to back.

Getting her to do tummy time is a struggle because she prefers laying on her back.

We'll get there.

She loves to see herself in the mirror.

We have a carseat mirror and every time we go in the car she stares at herself the whole time. 

It's like she knows she's adorable.

She loves to talk, and she's getting rather loud at it.

She's always got something to say.

She makes the funniest little facial expressions like she's telling a dramatic story.

Sassy little lady.

She absolutely loves bath time.
She can be super fussy and i'll put her in the bath and she immediately calms down.
She loves to splash around and pee in the water LOL.

Her hairs are getting longer and soon i'll be able to pull them into a tiny ponytail! 

I always said I wanted a chubby baby with lots of hair.

And I got a very chubby baby with tons of hair.

She has grown up so much.

One morning James and I were both looking at her and we both said that she got so much bigger and grown up overnight.

I have to keep reminding myself to cherish these times because one day i'll wake up and she'll be all grown up and independent, and then she'll be married and have a family of her own.

Jenny and I have such an amazing bond.

I'm so grateful for that because it didn't come from the beginning.

Every morning when I go to get her out of bed she looks up, sees me, and smiles the biggest smile.

I know she knows me, and I know she loves me and I hope with all my heart that she knows how much I love her.

She is my greatest blessing and accomplishment, and my favorite tiny little person ever.

Happy three month birthday Jenny bug!

Two Months

Happy two months of life Jenny Grace! 

This month has been SO much better on my part.

We are all sleeping better and our home is a little happier now that I feel like I somewhat have my life put together.

(lol yeah right)

I am so grateful that life is full of do-overs and second chances.

Anyhow, I can't believe I have a two month old!

My pregnancy seemed to go by so slow and I always wished time would speed up so I could meet my baby.

But now that she's here I really wish time would slow down.

Or maybe just have a pause button.

We still have our days.

Newborns are hard because there is no way to tell what they're thinking or what their needs are.

Thankfully I have a pretty easy baby and as long as she's fed, changed, and loved, she is usually happy.

She recently started sleeping through the night.

Like i'm talking 10 p.m. to 8 a.m. every single night.

From a mama who loves her sleep, it's been great.

Since she doesn't wake up at night to eat anymore, she eats a ton during the day.

She'll take anywhere from 2-4 ounces every 1-3 hours.

She's so random.

Silly girl.

She started smiling SO much this month and every time she flashes me that gummy grin my heart breaks.

I love her so much it hurts!

That smile makes all of the hard times absolutely worth it.

She also found her voice and loves to hear herself talk.

She will coo and smile the cheesiest grin because she knows she's cute.

She got her 2 month shots this month and I cried more than she did.

She was such a little trooper.

Thank goodness for infant tylenol.

She is 22 inches long and weighs 12.10 pounds.

15th percentile for height, 75th for weight.

She's short and fat.

My little oompa loompa. 

We are so grateful to have Jenny in our lives.

She has brought so much joy and love into our family.

We seriously can't imagine life without her!

Happy 2 month birthday baby girl!

One Month

Jenny Grace is one month old already!

Her perfect little self has been on this earth for four whole weeks.

The first month of her life flew by so fast I can hardly believe it.

Being a new mom is hard.

So fun, but so hard.

I never realized how honest people were being when they told me I would never sleep again.

Jenny's first night home from the hospital was the longest night of my life filled with cluster feeding and trying to soothe a crying frantic baby. 

We must have gotten less than an hour of sleep that night.

Insert new mom panic.

How on earth was I supposed to do this every night?

About two weeks in and after meeting with three different lactation specialists, I realized that nursing was not going to happen for us.

As natural of a thing as nursing should be, it doesn't come natural at all. At least for us it didn't.

She couldn't latch for the life of her.

Not even the nurses or lactation specialists could get her to do it.

So after several tries and failed attempts, and a screaming baby every time I tried to feed her, I decided I would pump and feed her breast milk from a bottle.

Insert new mom guilt.

I felt like a failure for not being able to nurse my baby.

Around this same time I realized that my emotions were definitely not in check.

I felt overwhelming feelings of sadness and longed for my old life with my husband, before baby.

I cried over everything and over nothing at all.

And I cried a lot.

I love this baby, I wanted this baby, I planned for this baby.

So why was I feeling this way?

I talked with my doctor and immediately felt a weight off my shoulders when he reassured me that what I was feeling is normal.

I often questioned why no one had ever told me the truth.

Why didn't anyone tell me that I would really never sleep through the night again?

Why didn't anyone tell me that i'm not a failure for not being able to nurse my baby or how exhausting having a newborn really is?

That I would never have time for myself anymore.

That those first few weeks are spent constantly meeting the demands of a needy baby.

I felt helpless and lost and genuinely sad.

I felt inadequate to give this baby everything she deserves in life.

I have never had to rely more on my Heavenly Father.

Things slowly started to get better each day as I started to figure Jenny out a little more each day.

She started sleeping longer through the night and was taking her bottles like a champ.

Pumping started to become more normal, and even though I hate it, it has worked its way into our daily routine.

I felt myself slowly starting to feel happier and more like myself again.

My love for Jenny grew as she grew.

Around her fourth week of life she began to become more alert and aware of her surroundings.

My heart melted when she flashed me her first big smile.

It made me feel as if I must be doing something right.

She loves to be swaddled for bedtime and naps, and always sleeps with her arms up above her head.

She usually goes to bed around 10 p.m. and wakes up around 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. to eat.

She makes the cutest faces in her sleep. She smiles and makes sad faces.

It makes me wonder what she dreams about.

She LOVES to stretch and makes the funniest little grunting noises when she does it.

At first she wasn't sure about bath time but now as long as she's fed she likes her bath, especially when we wash her hair.

She likes to hang out in just a diaper, and has gotten really good at tummy time. She can hold up her own head a lot better now and has the strongest little legs!

She hates her car seat but seems to like the car once it's moving.

She will not take a pacifier which I have mixed feelings about, but I guess when she's older i'll be grateful for that.

She loves to listen to music and look at pictures on the wall.

She weighed 8.5 pounds at her 2 week appointment, 1.3 pounds more than she weighed at birth.

She likes ceiling fans and story time.

And she gets prettier by the day.

Adjusting to having a baby was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

But now that things are better and we have found a new normal, I can honestly say that having her was the best decision we ever made.

She is the source of most of our joy in life and the topic of most of our conversations.

She is so silly and makes us laugh so much.

Happy one month birthday Jenny Grace.

You are loved beyond measure!

 

Bumpdate: 38 Weeks

Thirty Eight Weeks.

Somehow the last three months flew by and i'm due to have my first baby two weeks from today.

Everyone says the last few weeks are the longest of your life

and I would have to agree.

I'm definitely looking nine months pregnant.

I'm definitely feeling nine months pregnant.

At my last appointment I was dilated to almost a 1...

The doctor couldn't tell how effaced I was because I wasn't quite dilated enough.

BUT good news is he says i'm starting to dilate and that's all that matters to me!

Some sort of progression.

He also said that can all change in a day

I'm trying not to get too anxious at this point.

But really she could come any day now.

I just have to keep reminding myself that this is all on her schedule, not mine.

All I can do is be as prepared as possible and try to be patient.

                       How Far Along? 38 weeks, and definitely counting.

Size Of Baby? The size of a pumpkin. She could be anywhere between 6-9 lbs. and 18-20 inches long, but based on the size of my belly I think we've got a chunker on our hands.

Symptoms: I get heartburn from basically everything. Including water. Sleep is non existent these days but I guess i'm prepared for when little missy keeps me up all night. My feet fit in 2 pairs of shoes that I own. Both sandals with adjustable straps. Braxton Hicks contractions. Nesting, nesting, nesting.

Weight Gain? I'll never be more ready to start seeing the scale go down... and waaaaaay down.

Maternity Clothes? Around 5 months I started buying maternity clothes, and only 1 of those outfits fits me comfortably now. (in the most possible way... nothing is comfortable when you're 9 months pregnant) I can't wait to wear normal clothes again.

Cravings: Lots and lots of fruit and popsicles.

Mood: My nesting instinct is in full swing, so I spend the majority of my time preparing our home and cleaning things over and over again.

Movement: Less and less, but when I do feel movement I can tell she is a strong little thing.

Best Moment This Week: Realizing that in 2 weeks or less i'll be holding our sweet little baby.

Looking Forward To: Not labor haha.

James cleaned the car today and installed the car seat...
and

he looks so good holding that car seat.

Bumpdate: 30 Weeks

THIRTY WHOLE WEEKS.

I'm having a baby in 10 weeks!

Time seems to be going by a little faster now. I don't know if it's James' new schedule or the warm weather or the fact that this baby being here in 2 months seems a lot more real than 9, but I want time to slow down and hurry up all at once!

I can't wait to hold this little one and kiss her baby cheeks. 

I can't wait to see her with her daddy and to start this new adventure as our new little family of four. (including Hank the dog)

How Far Along? 30 weeks.

Size Of Baby? The length of a cucumber, about 16-17 inches tall! Only a couple more inches to grow. She weighs around 3-3.5 pounds, and will continue to put on about 1/2 a pound every week until she is born.

Symptoms: The third trimester is definitely the hardest so far! Heartburn, minimal sleep,  weird dreams, and the ever so loved morning sickness has returned. Not to mention weight gain and swelling! I'm definitely ready to get this baby here and take a little (or long) pregnancy break!

Weight Gain? Around 27 pounds. My doctor says I can expect to gain about 10-12 more before the baby comes. Joy.

Maternity Clothes? It's all that fits me, IF it even fits me! Some of the maternity clothes I bought earlier in my pregnancy don't fit anymore. But WHAT DO YOU DO.

Cravings: Cafe Rio salad, chicken salad, wraps, grapes, cream of wheat, really anything salty!

Mood: Uncomfortable. Is that even a mood? I feel so uncomfortable all. the. time. Tight clothes, big belly, swollen ankles. 

Movement: Every single day, all day. I get more powerful distinct movements now more than kicks. I feel her tiny body parts, like her heels, elbows, and fists move across my belly. She will push her heel into me, and when I push back she moves. I love it! 

Sleep: Haha

Best Moment This Week: Feeling stronger movements, and realizing I only have 10 more weeks to go!

Looking Forward To: My baby shower in 2 weeks!!! I can't wait to finally feel ready for her to come. Also, I now see my doctor every 2 weeks!

New Developments: She is losing her lanugo, the coating of hair babies have to keep them warm, because she is now chubby enough to keep herself warm! And she is strong enough to grasp a finger! 

^CHUBBY FACE, so swollen!^

Bumpdate: 25 weeks

Only 15 more weeks

or less

until this baby comes.

I can hardly believe it! 

How Far Along? 25 weeks.

Size Of Baby? A head of cauliflower. About 14 inches tall and weighs close to 2 pounds! 

Symptoms: Crazy itchy skin and exhaustion. I'm so tired!

Weight Gain? I'm just really trying not to care. I have gained more than i'd like, like every other pregnant woman, but I just try to remember that without the weight gain, the baby can't gain weight either! I have definitely gained a lot in my face though.

Cravings: Anything with peanut butter and/or chocolate, slurpees, and basically anything you don't have to cook at home.

Mood: Happy. Thinking about how close we're getting to meeting this little one makes me giddy! I love her so much already.

Movement: All the time! She likes to wake me up at 2 a.m.

Sleep: Not good! But what do ya do. 

Best Moment This Week: Seeing her kick from the outside! With my placenta being anterior, it's been really hard to see and feel her from the outside. But now she's strong and big enough to let us see it, and we are loving it.

New Developments: Hair has color, and she can tell which way is up and which way is down. 

Welcome Spring!!!

I love springtime.

It's my favorite season!

And since spring officially begins in just a few short weeks, I thought now would be a good time to make some things and decorate accordingly. 

Happy Spring!

Bumpdate: 24 Weeks

How Far Along? 24 Weeks.

Size Of Baby? A cantaloupe! I really can't believe she's that big. She is about 13 inches long and weighs 1.5 pounds.

Symptoms: Itchy belly and swelling in my face and hands. My wedding ring is starting to feel more snug than usual. The doctor says I retain a lot of water.

Weight Gain? I have gained 7 pounds since my last appointment on February 11th. When I saw the number on the scale I about died, but the doctor said it's normal to gain 1-2 pounds a week.

Cravings: Peanut butter captain crunch, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, ice cream, and water. (super healthy for baby, lol)

Mood: Impatient. I just want this little one to get here!

Nursery: I ordered the last few things I need for her nursery, so it's almost done! Now I just need to finish painting her bookshelves and get to work on sewing her crib skirt. 

Movement: She's gotten into a pretty regular sleeping pattern. She mostly kicks in the morning and at night, and right after I eat anything. It is still hard to feel her sometimes with my dang placenta in the way! 

Sleep: The past two nights I have woken up hysterically laughing because my dreams are just way too hilarious these days. 

Anything Making You Queasy? Surprisingly no! 

Best Moment This Week: Seeing her nursery come together. Now all I need is a little baby to put in it!

New Developments: Baby gained about a quarter of a pound last week in bones, muscle, and fat, so she is finally starting to fill out and really look like a tiny little person! Her hair is also gaining color this week. I can't wait to see what she looks like.

Looking Forward To: My 25 week mark. She will be here in 15 weeks or less! 

Bumpdate: 23 Weeks

How Far Along? 23 Weeks.

Size Of Baby? A bunch of grapes. She is a little over a foot tall and finally weighs one whole pound! (1 and 1/4 LBS to be exact)

Symptoms: I have been very very very emotional this week.

Cravings: Water, milk, and reese's peanut butter EGGS. They have to be the eggs.

Mood: Emotional. But i'm not sure how much of that actually has to do with being pregnant.

Nursery: I finished some lights for baby's nursery this week. I really love them. 

Movement: We headed to labor and delivery on Thursday night because I hadn't felt her move in almost 2 days. Of course the little stinker was fine and started kicking me the second I laid down on that hospital bed. Those dang babies.

Sleep: Not good at all this week! I just can't get comfortable to save my life.

Anything Making You Queasy? My morning sickness has seemed to have made a little bit of a comeback this week. Hopefully that goes away soon.

Best Moment This Week: Sitting in labor and delivery and listening to her heartbeat for 20 minutes. There's no better feeling than hearing that tiny little heartbeat!

Looking Forward To: Going to the doctor this week!

Bumpdate: 22 Weeks

How Far Along? 22 Weeks.

Size Of Baby? A papaya. Almost a foot tall and almost weighs a pound!

Stretch Marks? The other night I had just taken a warm bath and when I got out I could notice some stretch marks had formed on the sides of my belly! Talk about a breakdown. But that's okay. This little girl inside me is all I have ever dreamed of!

Symptoms: I got my first ever Braxton Hicks contraction yesterday... and all I can say is I am so not ready to birth this baby. My headaches are still frequent and my blood pressure has been in the 130 range, so the doctor is keeping a close eye on me. Babies just cause so much stress! I am hungry literally all day long. Just put a plate of food in front of me and i'll eat it.

Cravings: Hamburgers and fries with fry sauce. Blue raspberry sour punch straws. Anything savory and/or spicy. Lots and lots of water.

Mood: Grumpy. Haha my poor husband. I have been having the worst mood swings ever this week!

Nursery: Baby girl has a crib, a mattress, some animal friends, blankets, more clothes than she'll ever be able to wear, a dresser to put them all in, and a changing pad. I have also started working on some fun projects for her nursery (which is 1/2 of our bedroom in our 1 bedroom apartment, we make it work) that I will post as soon as they are finished! It's starting to come along and looks so pretty! 

Movement: This little girl is unpredictable. Some days she likes to relax and not move a ton, and some days she will not hold still (I like those days). She tends to move in the morning when I get up and have just eaten breakfast. And then it's random throughout the day. Her little kicks and punches are getting so much stronger and I love it! Nothing brings more comfort than feeling her little body moving in there.

Sleep: Better this past week. Minus the fact that baby girl rests on my bladder all night long.

Anything Making You Queasy? Honestly no. The nausea has been almost entirely gone this whole second trimester. And I am soooo thankful for that! 

Best Moment This Week: Really starting to get the nursery underway and feeling my baby kick so much! And also realizing that February is over and this baby will be here in 4 short months!

Looking Forward To: Baby shower plans. And springtime!

Bumpdate: 20 Weeks

It's funny how the second you look at that pregnancy test and see two lines, your motherly instincts kick in and all of the sudden you worry about your (unborn) child for any or no reason at all- all the time. The night before my ultrasound I told James that I was worried because I hadn't felt the baby move all day. So we googled ways to get your baby to move, and, after drinking cold water, juice, eating sugar, laying on my side, and poking around at her to try and get her to wake up, she just wasn't moving. Of course my mind jumps to the worst conclusions. I don't think I slept very well that night. The day of my ultrasound we had to wait until 1:00 to see her, which seemed like the longest morning ever.

When the ultrasound tech put the probe on my belly, searching for baby's heartbeat, my heart sank a little. Right then baby started wiggling, and we found her healthy heart beating away. I had never felt so relieved in my entire life, knowing that my child was okay. That she was alive and well. Hearing her little heart beating was the greatest comfort to me. And that's when I realized that I am a mother. And I will be a mother for the rest of my life. I have so much to do to be ready for this baby. And sometimes I feel inadequate to be her mom and to give her everything she deserves in this life. But I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father has sent her to me. I already feel like she is my biggest blessing, and I have yet to meet her. 

Everything on the scan looked perfect. 

2 arms. 2 legs.

2 hands. 2 feet.

10 fingers. 10 toes.

heart rate 144 bpm

and measuring right on time. 

June come faster!

How Far Along? 20 weeks.

Size Of Baby? Baby is the size of a banana- 10 inches from head to toe. She's getting so tall!

Weight Gain? Just 9 lbs. so far! Except it feels like I've gained 100.

Symptoms? Headaches. And i'm so worried about baby that I will not take ANYTHING for it. Not even if the doctor says it's okay. So I just suffer through it.

Maternity Clothes? It's all I wear. My sweet friend Mollie was so kind and gave me some of her old maternity clothes, and my sweet grandma bought me some as well. So thank you for that or i'd probably still be trying to squish into my regular clothes.

Sleep? I've been sleeping better through the night but my dreams... are so weird. 

Best Moment This Week? My 20 week anatomy scan! Baby has all 10 fingers and toes and is measuring right at her due date. 

Weird Pregnancy Moment? Crying. About everything. 

Movement? YES. When I lay, sit, stand, I feel her so much! Such an active little thing.

Food Cravings? Mexican food.

Aversions? Thankfully no.

Gender? The radiologist confirmed she's a girl. So i'm going with girl.

What I'm looking Forward To: Giving this sweet baby girl a name! And for time to quickly move along so I can meet her.

Bumpdate: 19 Weeks

How Far Along? 19 weeks. 6 days.

Size Of Baby? The size of a mango, about 6 inches long and weighing about 8.5 oz. 

Weight Gain? I'm not really sure. I try to ignore it.

Symptoms? Headaches almost every day. And I can feel a cold coming on. It's fun knowing you're getting sick and you can't take anything for it.

Maternity Clothes? Yep. I had a breakdown this week because my bra doesn't fit and most of the shirts in my closet don't cover my belly. Thank goodness for maternity pants and dresses.

Sleep? This is the first week my sleep hasn't been so good. I toss and turn so much and wake up every couple hours. I guess it's my belly making me uncomfortable.

Best Moment This Week? Feeling my baby girl move! The past few nights she has been moving a ton. Already a little wiggler!

Weird Pregnancy Moment? Realizing it has gotten quite hard for me to get up once I've  sat down. Also, that I need to move waaaaay slower. If I turn too quickly or stand up too fast I get these awful sharp pains in my pelvic area. 

Movement? YES!!! Every night for the past few nights. I can only feel it when I lay on my back, but she's crazy in there! 

Food Cravings? Still toast. The great value brand white bread from walmart makes the best toast ever, in my opinion. Soft serve ice cream. Woody's drive in has cones for 25 cents, you're welcome. French fries with fry sauce. And lots and lots of water!

Aversions? The smell of raw meat. I made meatloaf this week and thought I was going to die.

Gender? Still girl up to this point! I have my 20 week scan next week, so hopefully they see the same thing as fetal photos and the doctor!

What I'm looking Forward To: More movement from my baby girl. And my 20 week ultrasound. And being HALFWAY!!! 

Bumpdate: 18 Weeks

How Far Along? 18 weeks. 3 days.

Size Of Baby? The size of a sweet potato, about 5-1/2 inches long and weighing about 7 oz.

Weight Gain? Only 6 lbs... That first trimester was rough!

Symptoms? Headaches. All day everyday. And round ligament pain. Ouch.

Maternity Clothes? YES. I feel like I bulge out of my regular clothes. Getting ready in the morning is truly a struggle.

Sleep? Good. Minus the fact I wake up every hour to pee. Also, everyone in this world should own a pregnancy pillow.

Best Moment This Week? Seeing our little one on the ultrasound, and doctor confirmed she's a girl!

Weird Pregnancy Moment? Realizing i'm 2 weeks away from being halfway through this pregnancy... what?

Movement? Not yet. I lay really still for a few minutes every night hoping I will feel something, but nothing! My doctor says my placenta is towards the front of my uterus, blocking any movement I might be able to feel. Hopefully soon though!

Food Cravings? Toast. Like a lot of it. Simply lemonade with blueberry. And milk.

Aversions? The smell and taste of toothpaste. Worst part of my day.

Gender? They're telling us it's a girl! I sure hope so considering her wardrobe is pink.

What I'm looking Forward To: Movement. I can't wait to feel this little one move in there!!! 

1

it seems so unreal to me that we have already been married for a year. 

that day seems like yesterday, yet so long ago all at the same time.

we learned and experienced so much this past year. 

we had really good times and we had really hard times. 

we laughed.

we cried.

we fought.

everyone says that the first year of marriage is the hardest. i'm not here to agree or disagree with that statement, but i am here to tell you that marriage is not easy. 

it is really hard.

and perfectly worth it.

i get to spend everyday with my love, my friend.

i get to share all my life experiences with him.

i get to cook for him and clean for him and be his wife. 

and i absolutely love that.

the good times are absolutely worth all the bad times.

life is better with James.

so here's to year one.

we FINALLY got to eat the top layer of our wedding cake.

&

it was yuuuuuum.